Thursday, June 9, 2011

Psst - keep this quiet

Hi there. My name is Winston Kennedy and I want to complain about the way I'm treated by my slave, Barbara. She spends far too much time sitting on her backside with a shiny flat thing on her lap when she could have a fluffy thing - me! Trying to get her attention when she's writing is almost impossible. I have needs! Often. Frequently. Food being one of them. I'm getting fed up of eating the same thing every day - what dog can live on chicken breast? - and her expecting me to be grateful for it. What's worse, she keeps dragging me outside for a walk and then not letting me sniff every lamppost. She rips the fun out of my life. I don't ask for much--just a few treats every now and again, her NOT TO LEAVE ME ON MY OWN - and why can't I go in the loo with her?? What happens in there? And why did she buy me that squeaky ball only to get cross when I run round the house and squeak it??
If you'd like to read about my adventures - which frankly are a lot more exciting than her scribblings, I have my own blog.

That's a picture of me - on the right - with my mother and sister. I'm the good-loooking one, obviously.


Fred said...

You poor dear! My slave takes us out in the back yard, into the woods and we all pee together back there. And we get ground beef, and pork chops on alternate days as well as the chicken. And on Fridays, when our slaves are very happy, we get cube steaks and we wait for them to finish their steaks so we can get the bones.

You should file a complaint with the animal cruelty people! Although, our slave doesn't take the silvery thing off his lap either.

Signed, Steeler, Cowboy and Jette

Arlene said...

At least Winnie has some support from Steeler, Cowboy and Jette, now!